50 have personal car glass is often break, though nothing and something stolen, but the light in glass will spend a lot of money, then he will have an idea, a "car didn't anything of value" poster on glass, wish all day, but should get up, glass was broken, and he was beside the poster more words: "excuse me, just to prove it."
51. Three pursuit vogue female students in class discussions with students at the time tomorrow to wear clothes. JiaSheng: "uh... I think I wear black dress well, because my hair is black." B born after listening to it, then, "then I wear white hair white dress! Dad!" C JiaSheng after birth and after birth, suddenly said, "my father is a sound here.i is bald!"
52. One day off by tram xiaoming, someone accidentally stepped back to his feet, someone: sorry... Xiao Ming: it's someone: don't know how to speak Ming: that doesn't matter, the streetcar unavoidably will trample feet of someone:... At the station I stepped on the dog shit before
53 have individual find hotel, decide on the car to sleep in the middle of the night, somebody knocked on his car, ask him the time, the midnight interruptions was angry, and he had a note in the window, "I lost" will have a little girl at the window. "sir, is this watch you away?" And he said, "I was changed the watch is broken." Again someone knock window "sir, watch?" . Rage branches, "I don't know the time." I do not know how long after, greet each other on his old car "boy, is now 3 a.m."
54. The military conscription animals to fight and forest animals all want to medical first monkey is not to look at his army and his tail teeth to bite a malicious his broken in. Doctor said: monkey tail, is disabled, not a soldier. The second rabbit see monkeys after this act resolutely put his long ears to break in... Doctor said: rabbit ears is broken, it is disabled, not a soldier. The third to bear. "My ear so short tail with no about?" Good rabbit and the monkey to help him to.. Suddenly the monkey: I know your teeth interrupt you if handicapped! So the monkey and rabbit ruthlessly K was a black bear his teeth all interrupt. Bear pain but also very happy, although in the physical, enfolding her black soon mouth out crying... Wow... They said I was too fat without a soldier
55. We want to jump a giant art terrible ballroom dancing -- should be carried high leg rapid fall, extreme difficulty movement. Results no lian days, then everyone can have a green, some body muscle... My leg is injured in the very serious, doesn't work that way! Today, the third floor, oh, my class is just the right leg straight first-order first-order send up. Most exasperating -- are walking, listen to the next two girls whispered, "muttered the school is normal or cities that were in our hometown, the polio couldn't go to school!!"
56. One day, two rare steak cooked steak met four points, both why didn't say hello? Because ~ ~ ~ ~ it both don't cooked
57. A group of great scientists died in paradise to play hide and Einstein to catch a person, he opened his eyes, and saw 100 all hide, Newton still standing there. Einstein walked past say: "I hold you Newton," Newton: "no, you didn't catch Newton." Einstein: "you not Newton and who are you?" Newton: "you see my feet?" Einstein's head to see Newton stand on a meter square aspect is on the floor, puzzled. Newton: "my feet, this is a square meters, standing in the square meters above is Newton /, so you catch hold of you, not Newton's PASCAL"
58. A very strict rules, university of YeBuGuiSu will be fired! Three brothers came back late, ready to turn wall in, a brother carefully probe look inside the wall, see a migrant workers stood quietly asked: "this is the school security?" Migrant workers to do a very calm "ok" gestures. Three boys in such an ecstasy, crouch hole in the wall, the three school security successful captured! Take three boys back to before, "you are not drawn migrant workers told us' ok?" Migrant workers bitter way: "I not finger than, tell you have" three "!"
59. Two tomato go shopping. A tomato suddenly went quickly, the second tomato ask: we want to go where?? A tomato has no answer, so two tomato asked again. 1 again the tomatoes have no answer, so two tomato again ask again. A tomato finally turned slowly say: we are not tomatoes, we will talk?? !
60 day, the kangaroo drive on a country road, suddenly see small white rabbit drove in the middle of the road, ears and body on the ground seemed almost completely in listening. So stop. Kangaroo very curiously ask: "small white rabbit, excuse me you listen to?" "Half an hour before there is a big truck through..." wakao.. So god! .. How do you know? "He NN! My neck and legs is so.....
61. "get rid of depression, psychological doctor ordered patients," let your everyday life full of passion, enthusiasm, and work with ground up. Anyway, enthusiastically to do every thing." A week later, the patient came back again, look more than in the past, the doctor asked his melancholy is not as directed by a physician. "That's the problem," patient replied: "I got to eat, passionate, then kissed and his wife that I work was two hours late, fired."
50.有个人车子玻璃常被打破， 虽然没啥东西被偷， 但是光换玻璃就要花很多钱， 于是他就想了一个点子， 贴一张“车内没值钱的东西”的海报在玻璃上， 心想应该没事了，谁知隔天起床， 玻璃又被打破了， 而他的海报旁多了几个字：“对不起，只是想证实一下。”
51.三位追求时尚的女同学，在下课时间讨论着明天同学会上要穿的衣服。 甲生："呃...我想我穿黑色礼服好了，因为我爸头发是黑色的。" 乙生听了之后，便如法炮制， "那我就穿白色礼服啰！我爸头发白了!" 丙生听完甲生和以生说的话后，突然惨叫一声， "我爸是秃头啦!"
52.某日小明下班搭电车回家，某人不小心踩到小明的脚 某人：对不起...... 小明：没关系 某人：不知该如何说起 小明：没关系啦，电车里难免都会踩到脚的 某人：......我在车站前踩到狗大便
53.有个人找不到旅馆，决定在车里睡一夜，半夜里有人敲他车窗，问他几点了，半夜被人打扰很不爽的啊，于是他在车窗上贴了个纸条“我的表丢了”过了会有个小女孩敲他车窗“先生，这表是你掉的吗？” 也是他把纸条改了“我的表坏了”。又有人敲车窗“先生，修表吗？”。暴怒，枝条又改成“我不知道时间”。不知过了多久，一个慈眉善目的老太太敲他车窗“小伙子，现在是凌晨3点”
54.军队征召动物们从军去打仗 于是森林里的动物全都要来体检 排第一的猴子很不想从军去 他看看他的长尾巴 于是牙一咬狠下心来把他折断 进去后... 军医说：猴子尾巴断了，是残障，不用当兵啦.... 第二的兔子看到猴子这般行为后 也毅然决然的把他的长耳朵给折断了 进去后... 军医说：兔子耳朵断了，是残障，不用当兵啦... 排第三的黑熊心想.. "我耳朵那么短尾巴有跟没有差不多怎么办呢？" 好心的兔子与猴子来帮他想办法.. 忽然猴子大呼：我知道了把你的牙打断你就算残障啦！ 于是猴子与兔子狠狠地K了黑熊一顿 把他的牙全打断..... 黑熊虽然痛但也很开心地进去体检了 不久后，只见黑熊捂着嘴出来 哭着说...... 我靠....他们说我太胖不用当兵啦
55.艺术节我们要跳一个巨可怕的集体舞——需有急速摔倒、高抬腿等暴烈难度的动作。结果没练几天大家就都受不了，有的浑身是青，有的肌肉拉伤……我右腿就伤得非常严重，根本不听使唤！今天到三楼上课，天啊，我简直就是把右腿直着一阶一阶的往上提送。最可气的是——正走着，只听后面两个女孩低声嘀咕道："还是大城市的学校比较正规些，这要是在我们老家，小儿麻痹的根本不能上学！！"
56.有天，两分熟的牛排遇到四分熟的牛排，它俩为什么没有打招呼呢？因为~~~~它俩都不熟
57.一群伟大的科学家死后在天堂里玩藏猫猫，轮到爱因斯坦抓人，他数到100睁开眼睛，看到所有人都藏起来了，只有牛顿还站在那里。 爱因斯坦走过去说：“牛顿，我抓住你了” 牛顿：“不，你没有抓到牛顿。” 爱因斯坦：“你不是牛顿你是谁？” 牛顿：“你看我脚下是什么？” 爱因斯坦低头看到牛顿站在一块长宽都是一米的正方形的地板砖上，不解。 牛顿：“我脚下这是一平方米的方块，我站在上面就是牛顿/平方米，所以你抓住的不是牛顿，你抓住的是帕斯卡”
58.某大学校规极严厉，夜不归宿将开除！有三哥们回来晚了，准备翻墙进来，一兄弟很小心地探头看墙内 ，见一民工站此，小声问：“有学校保安没？”民工很镇定地做了个“ok”手势。三男生一阵狂喜，翻墙进去，被蹲坑在此的三个学校保安成功抓获！带走前，三男生回头向民工哀怨道“你不是告诉我们‘ok’吗？”民工苦涩道：“我不是用手指比了吗，告诉你们有‘三个’啊!”
59.两颗番茄去逛街。 第一颗番茄突然走的很快，第二颗番茄就问：我们要去哪里阿？？ 第一颗番茄没回答，所以第二颗番茄又问了一次。 第一颗又番茄没回答，所以第二颗番茄又再问了一次。 第一颗番茄终于慢慢转头说： 我们不是番茄吗，我们会讲话吗？！
60.一天，袋鼠开着车在乡村小路上转悠，突然看到小白兔在路中央，耳朵及身体几乎完全趴在地上似乎在听什么... 于是.袋鼠停下车很好奇地问：“小白兔，请问一下你在听什么？” “半小时前这里有一辆大货车经过... “哇靠..这么神！..你是怎么知道的？” “他NN的！我的脖子和腿就是这么断的. .
61.“摆脱忧郁”，心理医生嘱咐病人，“让热情充满你每天的生活，热情满怀地起床、上班。总之，热情地去做每件事”。 一周后，病人又回来了，看起来比过去更加忧郁，医生问他是不遵医嘱做了。“这正是问题所在”，病人答道：“我满怀热情地起床、吃饭，然后与妻子吻别，以至于我上班晚了两个小时，被解雇了。”
1.A man wanted to buy an ass. He went to the market, and saw a likely one. But he wanted to
test him first. So he took the ass home, and put him into the stable with the other asses.
The new ass looked around, and immediately went to choose a place next to the laziest ass in
the stable. When the man saw this he put a halter on the ass at once, and gave him back to
his owner. The owner felt quite surprised. He asked the man, "Why are you back so soon? Have
you tested him already?" "I don't want to test him any more," replied the man, "From the
companion he chose for himself, I could see what sort of animal he is."
中文：一个买主到市场上去买驴，他看中一头外表不错的驴，但是他想要牵走试一试。他把驴牵回家，放
在自己其他的驴之间，这驴四处看看，立即走向一头好吃懒做的驴旁边。于是，买驴的人立刻给那头驴套
上辔头，牵去还给驴的卖主。卖主感到很奇怪，他问买主：“你怎么这么快就回来了？”买主说：“不必
再试了，从他所选择什么样的朋友来看，我已经知道他是什么样了。”
2.The Looney Bin 疯人院Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another one said, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"
一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说："我是拿破仑！"另一个说："你怎么知道？"第一个人说："上帝对
我说的！"一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来："我没说！"
Notes:
（1）Looney (俚语）疯子
（2）inmate（n.同住者,同室者(特指在医院、监狱)）
（3）insane asylum (疯人院）
3.A mother mouse老鼠的第二语言也重要A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she
spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and
the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat
was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you
understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。
母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”
你要什么样的
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