改雅思英文作文

2025-03-01 20:07:54

推荐回答（2个）

回答1：

The graph （Can you be more specific?)illustrates the number of people at a London railway station from 6am to 10pm. As we can see(删掉因为重复显得啰嗦）, the number of people fluctuates over the 16 hours (given period). To be more specific, at 6am the number stands at only 100. (The period 删掉，重复，多余)between the 6am to 8am the number experiences the（用a) rapid rise to about 400. But there is a drop in the following (in the next) two hours, reaching the peak at around 180. The number in the following(in the next,其实最好用个别的，重复了) two hour increases fairly constantly from about 180 to around 280. The next two hours（同样问题） ,the number level off at under 300. From the（this） point forwards,the number experiences a sharp drop ,bottoming out at about 90 at 4 pm. After 4pm,the number rises again ,with the number reaching 370. After that ,there is (a) decrease to about 130 at 8pm. The period between the 8pm to 10pm the(....?) sees the slight increase, but finally the number of people decline(s) from 180 at 9pm to 130 at 10pm.

大部分问题不大，主要是很多话一直重复用（the number,rises,drop,after that等等)。一直重复用语法上并没有错误，但是会给考官留下你词汇量不多的印象，而且重复的词多了考官容易失去兴趣。

另外注意你的The和A优点混淆不清。还有The following和the next。
基本上都是习惯上的小问题，注意点就好啦。

希望对你有帮助！加油啊=）

回答2：

第一所有时太要用一般过去时态，第二写雅思作文要替换同义词，这样作文看起来才比较好. For exzmple, illustrates 改为 illustrated, the number of 替换为the amount of, 你自己再检查检查吧！

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