英语幽默小短剧

A：（生气的）谁和你是同学？
C：我们是朋友。
B：（生气的）你心里还有我这个朋友吗？
C：我们互相帮助互相关心，是应该的。并不是所有的男女关系都只能存在着爱情，友情同样可以存在的。我是你们师姐，关心你们，帮助你们也是应该的。
A：怎么，你不是要和我发展那种关系？
B：你对我没意思啊？
[《祝你一路顺风》伴奏曲响起。
C：（深情的）你们都想到哪儿去了？我们快毕业了，明天我就要走了，我走了以后，我们还是好朋友，有空要多联系啊。来，你们过来。
[A 、B慢慢走过去。
C：（拿出一本书，给A）A，这本书是我送给你的，你曾经打算要买的。来，拿去吧，作个留念吧。
[A双手接过，低着头，抚摸着书面。
C：（拿出一支钢笔，对B）B，这钢笔送给你，你曾经向我借过，还夸它挺好写的。我知道你挺喜欢书法的，拿去多多练习啊。
[B双手接过，低着头。
[稍后电铃声响起。
C：师弟，我该走了，咱们再见了！（缓缓的走开）
A：（同时，深情地）师姐再见！
B：（见C走了几步）师姐，要记得我们啊。
C的画外音：会的。
A: Who (is angry) and you is schoolmate?
C: We are the friend.
B: (Is angry) in your heart also to have my this friend?
C: We help to care about mutually mutually, is should.Is not all sexual relations all only can have love, the friendship may exist similarly.I am your female apprentice, cares about you, helps you also is should.
A: How, aren't you must develop that kind of relations with me?
B: You do not have the meaning to me?
["Wishes Your Bon Voyage" the partner to play a tune resounds.
C: (Affection) you all thought where went? We have graduated quickly, I will have to walk tomorrow, I walked after, our good friend, had free time wants to relate.Comes, you come.
[A, B walk slowly.
C: (Puts out a book, for A) A, this book is I gives you, you once planned had to buy.Comes, to take away, makes to accept as a memento.
[A both hands received, lower the head, are stroking written.
C: (Puts out a fountain pen, to B) B, this fountain pen gave you, you has borrowed to me, but also very well praised it to write.I knew you very like the calligraphy, takes away very much practices.
[B both hands received, lower the head.
[Later the electric bell sound gets up.
C: The fellow, I should walk, we goodbye! (Slowly gets out of the way)
A: (At the same time, affectionately) female apprentice goodbye!
B: (Saw C to walk several steps) the female apprentice, had to remember us.
C offscreen voice: Meeting.

Professor Godwin,feeling unwell,wrote on his bedroom door this notice:"The professor will be unable to meet his classes this evening." A student rubbed out a letter and made it,"The professor will be unable to meet his lasses this evening." Godwin,perceiving this, turned the tables by striking off the next letter, and making the notice read;" The professor will be unable to meet his asses this evening.
译文：戈德温博士感到不舒服，于是写了张便条贴在卧室门上：“晚上博士不能来上课了。”一学生看后将一字母擦去，意思就变成了：“晚上博士不能来见他的情人们了。”戈德温博士看后，心生一计，又擦掉一个字母，最后便条的内容就成了“晚上博士不能来见他的蠢驴们了。”
（注：class班级；lass情人；ass蠢驴，关键在表演时可重读这些词，如果不熟悉的话让观众说出意思，不然毫无效果）