8分钟6人搞笑英语短剧

The Bus (公交车上的故事)
Female student A:,Female student B,Female student C,Boy A: Wang Chiang-rui
Boy B,Old woman,
Scene One
(Three female students are chatting on a bus. Because all the seats are taken, they are standing, holding onto some plastic rings hanging down from the bus roof. Two boys are sleeping in their seats. Then the bus arrives at a stop and an old woman gets on. She looks at the seats. Seeing no empty seats, she stands next to a female student and holds onto a plastic ring.)
Old woman: There're no empty seats. I guess I'll have to stand.
(The female students find the old woman not having a seat. They want to help her find one to sit in.)
Female student A: We should find a seat for her.
Female student B: Right. Those two bad boys did not give their seats to her.
(The two boys continue to sleep.)
Female student C: We should find a seat for her.
Female students A & B: Yes.
(Female student A goes to Boy A and taps on his shoulder.)
Female Student A: Excuse me, could you give your seat to that old lady?
(Boy A stretches and continues to sleep. Female students A and B look at each other. Female student B taps on Boy A's shoulder.)
Female Student B: Hey! Can you give your seat to that old lady?
Boy A: (wakes up) I lined up for twenty hours yesterday to buy A-Mei's new album. I'm very tired. I'm sorry I can't give my seat to the old lady. (continues to sleep)
Female student C: What should we do?
Female student B: Let's ask the other boy.
Boy B: (gets up suddenly) Ah!
All: (startled)Ah!
Female student B: What happened?
Female student C: Why did you scream?
Boy B: I had a nightmare. It was terrible.
Female student B: Excuse me, can you give your seat to that old lady?
(Boy B falls asleep.)
Female student A: Hello! Is it OK for you to make room for that old lady?
Boy B: Let me sleep, please. I read an English novel all night last night and didn't get any sleep. Can you let me sleep for a while?
Female student A: Well, we've tried.
Female student B: The young man is really brash.
Old woman: Thank you, young ladies! I'm OK! Don't think I'm an old woman. I am healthy. (makes a few kicks like a young man)
Female student C: Maybe we worry too much. The old lady's very healthy.
(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly and the old woman falls over. It makes Boy A wake up.)
Boy A: Oh! Are you OK?
Old woman: Oh! Oh! My waist!
Boy A: You can take my seat. (helps the old woman to the seat)
Female student C: Hmm. He just got his conscience.
Female student A: Yeah! I was just about to say they got no manners.
Female student B: Yeah. I thought he was a cold-blooded animal.
Boy A: Hey! Watch your own manners. I've given her my seat. I'm really very tired.
(At this time Boy B is embarrassed. He dares not continue to sleep.)
Old woman: Thank you, young man. I'm old and useless.
Boy B: Don't say that. If I'd given you my seat earlier, the accident wouldn't have happened.
(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again. Boy A falls down.)
Scene Two
(The Old woman and Boy B sit in the seats. Boy A is standing behind the three girls and drowsing. The three girls continue to chat. Boy A is drowsing carelessly and bumps into Female student A's body.)
Female student A: Oh! Who touched me? (turns her head around and sees
Boy A standing behind her) It's you, right?
Boy A: What?
Female student B: Why? You did it intentionally, didn't you?
Boy A: Wait. I didn't do anything.
Female student C: You touched her intentionally, right?
Boy A: Hey, I'm not that kind of person. (looks at Boy B) Hey… Is it you?
Boy B: (confused and shakes his head) Not me. I was sleeping.
(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again. Boy A bumps into Female student A again.)
Female student A: (angry) Still saying it wasn't you? You pig!
Boy A: I didn't mean it.
Old woman: Nowadays boys are not the same as those in the past. Boys in the past were all very polite. Now boys are reckless.
Female student C: Now what do you have to say? Apologize to her. Hurry!
Boy A: Alright! Alright! (to female student A) I'm sorry.
(Female student A ignores him and continues to chat with the other two girls.)
Boy A: It's not my day today.
Boy B: Gentlemen don't fight with women. And she's no nice woman.
Old woman: Nowadays girls don't have good temper. Time really changed.
Boy B: Older people know more than us.
Old woman: When I was a young student, I got love letters from many men every day. For the sake of manners, I went out with different men every day.
(Boys A and B don't know what to say. Suddenly the bus driver hits the brake. The old woman bumps into Female student C's hips.)
Female student C: (surprised) You.....
(The old woman looks at Female student C and says nothing.)
Old woman: You have nice hips.
Female student B: I can't believe the old woman is capable of sexual harassment.
Female student C: Maybe nowadays old people are not the same as those in the past.
Female student A: Maybe after losing her husband, she feels lonely.
Female student B: Ah! Here we are. Let's get off.
Female student C: We'd better stay away from those strange people.
(Female students get off the bus.)
Boy B: Who are those strange people? They're real strange. (helps the old woman
up) Are you O.K.? Those young girls have no sympathy.
Old woman: (feels Boy B's hand) You also have a pair of very fine hands.
Boy B: (startled) What?
Boy A: This old woman is also very strange.
Boy B: Let's go!
Old woman: Don't be shy, young man. I have held such kind of hand for a long time.
(Boy B frees himself from the old woman's hand and gets off.)
Old woman: (looks at Boy A) You're nice, too.
Boy A: Hmm, good-bye. (gets off)

Just before the English class begins, the teacher is talking with his students.
A: Well, just before the class, I will ask some students some questions. You can just answer it according to your own thinking to practice our spoken English. Suppose you are a dentist and a patient goes to you to cure his aching tooth, how can you do with the tooth? Wu Fei, how about you?
B: I’ll use a hammer to knock out the bad tooth?
A: Really? It’s very funny. When you do this, you also damage the good ones. She Lei, what about you?
C: Well, I will fasten a very thin strong thread to the bad tooth and then give it a sudden pull. And then the bad tooth will come out.
A: Oh, that’s terrible. Zhang Wei, what do you think of it?
D: I will give him an anesthetic dose and then repair the bad one.
A: Good. You will be an good dentist. Xiao Lin, you?
E: I will use expensive equipment to cure him of the bad one.
A: So your charge will be also expensive. How about you, Lijun?
F: I will give him some medicine to cure his pain.
A: Oh, it must be simple and cheap. OK, just stop here. Let’s go on with our lesson.

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