英语幽默短剧

AprilFool'sDay
N: Many years ago, on April 1, a body had birth. His father called him "foolman", nobody like him except his mother. How time flies!
F: Mum, I'm eithteen years old, so I will leave this family.
Mum: All right, but please see me at times. This is a bottle of drink, a piece of dry bread. Remember: take good care of yourself, bye!
N: He came to a forest, and met an ugly man.
U: Hello! I'm very hungry and thirsty, could you give me something to drink and eat, please?
F: Ok, here.
U: Oh, thanks very much! Now, I will go. Oh, this stick is for you, it will bring luck to you. Good luck!
N: The foolman reached a restaurant, the boss had two daughters, they found the stick very brightly.
D1: Oh, how beautiful it is! I want it, it's great!!! Oh! Dear! I can't leave it!
D2: Sister, what are you doing there? Do you want this stick yourself? No, I will get a part of it! We are parent's daughters, I must get a part of it like you!
D1: Don't come! Don't come! It's dangerous!
D2: You can come, so I can come, too! Oh, my god! What's wrong with me?
D1: What a pity!
N: Foolman didn't mind at all, after the meal he took the stick leave the restaurant. Of course, two girl followed him. In the field they met an old scientist.
S: Oh! Terrible! You two girls follow a boy. How silly of you! I will take you back home, and take the boy to the police station. Oh! Bad luck! Terrible!
N: A few days later, they got to a strange country. The king had a daughter, but she never smiled or laughed.
King: Who can make her smile or laugh, she'll be his wife.
F: Let me try , Perhaps I can.
N: Then they went to see her. She saw foolman and his friends laughed and laughed.
k: Ok, you make her laugh, now let us look at your . Which day is your birthday?
F: April
K: Oh! What a great boy! Do you know my country's name? Let me tell you: it called "Fool World"! Very suits you, right?!
N: The result is ——The follman lived happily with his wife until they died. That is why we now have a holiday called : "April Fool". the reason of being late

Teacher：Johnny，why are you late for school every morning？

　　老师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到？

　　Johnny：Every time when I come to the corner，a guidepost says，”School--GoSlow”.

　　约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着“学校——缓行”。

孩子的复数竟然是个双胞胎

Teacher: What is the plural of man，Tom？
老师：汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么？
　　Tom: Men.
　　汤姆：“男人们”。
　　Teacher: Good. And the plural of child？
　　老师：答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢？
　　Tom: Twins.
　　汤姆：双胞胎。

Our Tails 我们的尾巴

　　The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"
　　"I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".
　　教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？”
　　“我来试试看，”一位老太太说。
　　“该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。”

Longest and Shortest 最长和最短

Longest and Shortest

A teacher asked one of his students:" What is the longest and what is the shortest?"
The student answered immediately:" The last several minutes of a class is the longest, while the last several minutes of an exam is the shortest."

最长和最短
老师问他的一个学生：“什么最长什么最短？”
学生立刻回答：“一堂课的最后几分钟最长，一场考试的最后几分钟最短。由一个笑话改编的3人短剧，简单有趣，每人不超过10句话，都很简单，经理只有一句话。
C：the customer. 顾客
W：the waiter. 服务员
M：the manager. 经理

In the restaurant. 在饭店里

W:What can I do for you,sir?
C:Beijing Roast Duck,Tomato and Egg Soup.That's all.
W:A moment.

W:Yours,sir.
C:Thank you.

C:Waiter.
W:Yes?Sir.
C:How can I have the soup?
W:I'm sorry.Sir.I'll change it for you.
W:Here your soup.Sir.
C:Thank you.

C:waiter!
W:Sir?
C:How can I have the soup?
W:Er.I'm terribly sorry.I change it in a second.
C:Sir.I'm sorry for the soup.Now is the soup.
W:OK.

C:Waiter!!
W:Sir?
C:Call your manager,please.

M:I'm sorry,sir,but what's wrong with the soup?
C:How can I have the soup without a SPOON?

迟到的理由 the reason of being late

Teacher：Johnny，why are you late for school every morning？

　　老师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到？

　　Johnny：Every time when I come to the corner，a guidepost says，”School--GoSlow”.

　　约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着“学校——缓行”。

孩子的复数竟然是个双胞胎

Teacher: What is the plural of man，Tom？
老师：汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么？
　　Tom: Men.
　　汤姆：“男人们”。
　　Teacher: Good. And the plural of child？
　　老师：答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢？
　　Tom: Twins.
　　汤姆：双胞胎。

Our Tails 我们的尾巴

　　The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"
　　"I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".
　　教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？”
　　“我来试试看，”一位老太太说。
　　“该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。”

Longest and Shortest 最长和最短

Longest and Shortest

A teacher asked one of his students:" What is the longest and what is the shortest?"
The student answered immediately:" The last several minutes of a class is the longest, while the last several minutes of an exam is the shortest."

最长和最短
老师问他的一个学生：“什么最长什么最短？”
学生立刻回答：“一堂课的最后几分钟最长，一场考试的最后几分钟最短。

..
网上找的。。你可以自己斟酌修改下。。。再加点内容。。。。

误会

由一个笑话改编的3人短剧，简单有趣，每人不超过10句话，都很简单，经理只有一句话。
C：the customer. 顾客
W：the waiter. 服务员
M：the manager. 经理

In the restaurant. 在饭店里

W:What can I do for you,sir?
C:Beijing Roast Duck,Tomato and Egg Soup.That's all.
W:A moment.

W:Yours,sir.
C:Thank you.

C:Waiter.
W:Yes?Sir.
C:How can I have the soup?
W:I'm sorry.Sir.I'll change it for you.
W:Here your soup.Sir.
C:Thank you.

C:waiter!
W:Sir?
C:How can I have the soup?
W:Er.I'm terribly sorry.I change it in a second.
C:Sir.I'm sorry for the soup.Now is the soup.
W:OK.

C:Waiter!!
W:Sir?
C:Call your manager,please.

M:I'm sorry,sir,but what's wrong with the soup?
C:How can I have the soup without a SPOON?

AprilFool'sDay
N: Many years ago, on April 1, a body had birth. His father called him "foolman", nobody like him except his mother. How time flies!
F: Mum, I'm eithteen years old, so I will leave this family.
Mum: All right, but please see me at times. This is a bottle of drink, a piece of dry bread. Remember: take good care of yourself, bye!
N: He came to a forest, and met an ugly man.
U: Hello! I'm very hungry and thirsty, could you give me something to drink and eat, please?
F: Ok, here.
U: Oh, thanks very much! Now, I will go. Oh, this stick is for you, it will bring luck to you. Good luck!
N: The foolman reached a restaurant, the boss had two daughters, they found the stick very brightly.
D1: Oh, how beautiful it is! I want it, it's great!!! Oh! Dear! I can't leave it!
D2: Sister, what are you doing there? Do you want this stick yourself? No, I will get a part of it! We are parent's daughters, I must get a part of it like you!
D1: Don't come! Don't come! It's dangerous!
D2: You can come, so I can come, too! Oh, my god! What's wrong with me?
D1: What a pity!
N: Foolman didn't mind at all, after the meal he took the stick leave the restaurant. Of course, two girl followed him. In the field they met an old scientist.
S: Oh! Terrible! You two girls follow a boy. How silly of you! I will take you back home, and take the boy to the police station. Oh! Bad luck! Terrible!
N: A few days later, they got to a strange country. The king had a daughter, but she never smiled or laughed.
King: Who can make her smile or laugh, she'll be his wife.
F: Let me try , Perhaps I can.
N: Then they went to see her. She saw foolman and his friends laughed and laughed.
k: Ok, you make her laugh, now let us look at your . Which day is your birthday?
F: April
K: Oh! What a great boy! Do you know my country's name? Let me tell you: it called "Fool World"! Very suits you, right?!
N: The result is ——The follman lived happily with his wife until they died. That is why we now have a holiday called : "April Fool".